


extra, extra! read all about (how to fake your own death)!

by desperheaux



Series: it made them sour, my superpower [2]
Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, F/F, Fluff, Humor, Implied Dahyun/Gahyeon, alternative title: sua and yoohyeon throw down in a dennys parking lot and everyone wins, feat. rockstar!siyeon sweetheart!minji gumiho?gahyeon reporter!handong and dami as samuel l jackson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:48:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27931762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desperheaux/pseuds/desperheaux
Summary: “Only one person should have this number. I don’t know who you are, but I will find you, and I will —”“Bora, hey!” Yoohyeon cheers, and then in a hushed voice: “Listen, I need a favor.”Quite uncharacteristically, there is a moment of silence on the line.“...Fire Fist? First of all, how the hell did you get this number? Second of all, you’re asking the most feared supervillain in the city, your sworn arch-nemesis, the sexy lady who wants your unsexy ass dead… for afavor?"(What should you do when your duties as a superhero clash with your duties as a girlfriend? ...Probably not what Yoohyeon decides to do.)
Relationships: Han Dong | Handong/Lee Yubin | Dami, Kim Bora | SuA/Lee Siyeon, Kim Minji | JiU/Kim Yoohyeon
Series: it made them sour, my superpower [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1989118
Comments: 43
Kudos: 125





	extra, extra! read all about (how to fake your own death)!

**Author's Note:**

> I wish I had an explanation for why this idea came to my head, but... I really don't. Content Warning for friendly violence, a fake death or two, and awfully alliterative newspaper headline attempts.

### SUA GONE SILENT?

> The infamous head of Polaris’ biggest crime ring, known for her unapologetically public displays of destruction, has left the city streets awfully quiet these past few months. As her vexed representative, alias Cheshire, said in our exclusive interview (see last month’s edition of Polaris Press): “Contrary to popular belief, SuA doesn’t have a tragic backstory. She decided to become a supervillain because, and I quote, she ‘just likes being sexy and chaotic.’ I’d be more worried if she _wasn’t_ making noise, to be honest.”
> 
> Is this peace and quiet a welcome reprieve for our heroes and citizens? Or is SuA just busy planning her greatest crime yet? (We reached out to her alleged on-again-off-again girlfriend Siyeon, aka the Wolf of Sidestreets. The platinum rockstar had no comment. Are they perhaps off again, for good?)
> 
> Polaris has not had a silent night since the rise of SuA and her lackeys. “This good city never sleeps, so neither do we,” Fire Fist, leader of superhero league Insomnia, firmly says. “To SuA: Insomnia is watching, and ready. Be very afraid,” she finishes with meaningful finger guns towards the cameras.
> 
> This reporter counts us all lucky that our heroes aren’t nearly as awkward in battle as Fire Fist is in interviews.
> 
> This has been Handong, reporting for Polaris Press.

Yoohyeon, alias Fire Fist, intrepid leader of Insomnia and potential vandalizer of Handong’s office, spreads this week’s edition of Polaris Press wide around the inside of the phone booth as she goes about her secret super transformation.

Which isn't what one might think. There is no burning building nearby, or even any random explosions a la SuA. Yoohyeon takes one more cautious glance around the empty street but doesn’t swipe her glasses off or shed her long winter coat to reveal a supersuit underneath. Instead, she lifts the bulky phone off the hook, drops in a couple coins, and dials an excessively long number.

The person on the other end picks up on the second ring.

_“Only one person should have this number. I don’t know who you are, but I will find you, and I will —”_

“Bora, hey!” Yoohyeon cheers, and then in a hushed voice: “Listen, I need a favor.”

Quite uncharacteristically, there is a moment of silence on the line. _“...Fire Fist? First of all, how the hell did you get this number? Second of all, you’re asking the most feared supervillain in the city, your sworn arch-nemesis, the sexy lady who wants your unsexy ass dead… for a_ favor _?”_

“Yes, exactly! I need you to kill me.” Yoohyeon beams at the picture beneath the newspaper headline, a black and white shaky-cam snapshot of SuA mid-evil cackle. “Oh, and Siyeon gave it to me.”

_“Of course she did, that — wait, what? I was just quoting Liam Neeson, I wasn’t actually serious about finding and killing —”_

“Well, _pretend_ to kill me,” Yoohyeon amends. “It would kinda defeat the purpose of, you know, me prematurely ending my superhero career so I can spend the rest of my life as a normal citizen.”

Another pause; Yoohyeon thinks this has to be some sort of record.

_“Why the hell would you want to do that?!”_

Now it is Yoohyeon’s turn to pause. She moves to sheepishly scratch her head, and scrambles with a yelp to catch the newspaper. Never one to bother with camouflage or patience, SuA impatiently prods her to answer by repeating the same question, just louder.

Yoohyeon winces at the pain in her eardrums, as well as her inability to bullshit convincingly. “Well, uh… bureaucracy is a headache… there’s… no ethical form of heroism under capitalism?” 

SuA scoffs. _“It’s Minji, isn't it.”_

Yoohyeon puffs out a sigh and drops her forehead against page two’s op-ed piece on _falling in love, in this economy?_ She switches the phone to her other ear and admits:

“She just… she gets this _heartbreaking_ look in her eyes when she thinks about my job. Not the ‘saving people and keeping the city safe’ part; she thinks that’s sexy. But the ‘always on call even in the middle of date night’ and also the ‘life is in constant danger’ part… not so cute.” She switches the phone over again with another sigh. “...And honestly? Imagining not being able to come home to her everyday? Like, imagining being the cause of the world not getting to see her smile? Kinda the worst feeling I’ve ever felt. And you’ve dropped a skyscraper on me before.”

 _“I would’ve done it harder if I’d’ve known you’d be such a sap,”_ SuA deadpans.

“So you _haven’t_ been M.I.A. these past few months because you’re planning on ditching your crime ring to elope with Siyeon?” Yoohyeon counters.

A third moment of silence. If only Handong got wind of this.

_“...You better have a good plan for this, Finger Guns, because I might_ accidentally _kill you for real next time I see you.”_

Yoohyeon shoots straight in excitement, and then yelps and nearly punches the booth down with her desperate attempts to keep the newspaper up with one hand and juggle the phone with the other. SuA hangs up with a threat to lose this number and also Sidestreets’ VIP backstage pass, but Yoohyeon pays her no mind. The soon-to-not-be-a superhero wastes all her efforts at covertness as she slams open the phone booth with a whoop and a full-body fist pump.

“Handong, you’d better get your cameras ready!” She crows, chucking the newspaper down the street, and then chasing frantically after it to pick up and recycle later.

Kilometers away in the lobby of the Polaris Press building, a chill runs down Handong’s spine. The top reporter and editor-in-chief immediately turns around to buy headache medicine.

### INSOMNIA INTERNAL CONFLICT?

  


> The Fox, self-proclaimed cutest protégé of superhero Fire Fist, caught on tape using unprecedented violence!
> 
> “Yeah, I was just walking by Insomnia headquarters, ‘cause it’s on the way to the lake and I like to feed tofu to the ducks, so I felt my camera-senses tingling and I looked up and the window shade was open, and that super cool DoSS bamf was secretly recording with her phone, and what she was recording was The Fox, who was german-suplexing Fire Fist into a table, which not gonna lie was kind of cute, but then DoSS caught me also secretly recording and I was like ‘Bonjour!’ and The Fox waved all shy at me which not gonna lie was _really_ cute but then DoSS slammed the window shade down, so yeah,” says weird but innocent passerby Dahyun.
> 
> Was the Director of Superhero Services drawing the blinds on erupting tension between the two supers? Or is this how heroes are trained? We reached out to Director Dami for comment.
> 
> “Oh, that? That’s just them being them,” Dami informed us. “Handong, right? I can send you the clear video, if you’d like to give me your number.”
> 
> We can only hope that the heroes’ relationship is as smooth as the Director. Citizens of Polaris, Fire Fist included — take notes!

Yubin, agent alias Dami, basks in the satisfying sight of Yoohyeon getting choked out by an incorporeal fox tail.

Eventually, she remembers her responsibilities as the government’s only link to Insomnia (as well as Yoohyeon’s best friend), and reluctantly decides to mediate.

“Alright, Gahyeon, that’s enough. Tofu girl’s gone; there’s no one to impress here.”

“This isn't about impressing a cute girl — _Yoohyeon!_ — this is about betrayal! Deception! Negligence!”

Yoohyeon gurgles helplessly amidst the remains of the meeting room’s table. Gahyeon finally lets up and propels herself to Yubin’s side, where her supernatural powers keep her levitating, legs criss-crossed and arms clinging indignantly to the Director. It takes a minute of wheezing, but Yoohyeon finally sits up looking worse than the time SuA hit her with a tree.

She points an accusing finger at the both of them. “You were the ones who told me to follow my heart! _You_ kept hinting that the government wants to shut down the Superhero Services department anyway, and _you_ submitted an op-ed piece to Polaris Press about superheroes being allowed to date like normal people!”

Yubin shrugs. “I was sharing my personal hopes and dreams.”

Gahyeon lets go of her to cross her arms. “Yeah, not everything’s about you, big shot. What if I wrote that for tofu girl, huh?”

The mighty Fire Fist never lets herself look defeated, even in the face of utter hopelessness, like when SuA accidentally-on-purpose made a dormant volcano erupt, or during Handong’s rapid-fire interrogations. The people need hope to thrive, and heroes are symbols of hope, so Fire Fist always pops back up from the rubble with a determined grin and a witty one-liner to counter the bad guys’ monologues.

But Fire Fist is kind of tired of acting like she is invincible. Yoohyeon kind of wants to be just Yoohyeon. And never has she felt more like her genuine self, more seen and loved for all of her human flaws and quirks, than with Minji. Her closest friends’ reaction to her grand plan isn't nearly as world-stopping as a river of magma oozing its way downtown, but her shoulders still slump as if this is the worst outcome of a fight she’s ever had.

“I won’t go through with it if you guys don’t want me to. It’s just… she’s the one, you know? And I kind of wish I was free to be the one for her, too,” she trails off into a whisper. The hoarseness of her voice has nothing to do with Gahyeon’s terrifying fox-spirit strength. Her head droops sadly, so she doesn’t see the fond eye roll that her two companions share; they let her stew in angst for a minute longer before Yubin speaks up gruffly.

“Supers are always so unnecessarily dramatic. I’m glad you have Minji to balance you out, because I’m sure you’ll continue to be unnecessarily dramatic even when you’re retired.”

Yoohyeon blinks the beginnings of tears away and hits her ear. “Huh?” Maybe that phone call with SuA really did damage her hearing.

“She’s sweet, down-to-earth, patient, and makes a killer cherry pie,” Yubin elaborates, the twinkle in her eye a give-away to her stern stoicism. “You’re dramatic, and…” she pauses and mumbles to Gahyeon, “what else?”

“She’s… tall,” Gahyeon offers.

Yubin nods and concludes, “Dramatic and tall. You’re good together. Just don’t burn down her shop; it’s the only safe haven I’ll have once HQ gets torn down.”

Yoohyeon hits her other ear. “...What?”

Gahyeon launches herself through the air towards Yoohyeon just like she did five minutes ago, but this time she tackles her in a hug instead of a wrestling hold. “You dummy, of course we’ll help you fake your death so you can be boring and sell flowers in the corner of your girlfriend’s bakery!”

“That is not a sentence I would have ever thought I would hear and agree with, but I guess that’s what I get for being the only friend of the city’s head superheroes,” Yubin muses.

“You’re so gullible, Yoo, oh my gods. I’ve been begging you to let me have the spotlight for years!”

“Then why were you strangling me?!”

“Like Dami said. Supers are dramatic.”

“Speaking of which,” Yubin cuts into the heroes’ wrestling-slash-cuddling session, “how exactly do you intend to orchestrate this?”

Yoohyeon freezes, one fist comically reared back. “It’s a good thing you guys are on board… because I kind of already got SuA to agree to help.”

At the mention of the supervillain’s name, Gahyeon also freezes, spirit claws at Yoohyeon’s throat. “Since we’re admitting outrageous things, and since Fire Fist’s untimely demise will most likely lead to the disbandment of government-backed hero organizations, giving rise to supers who walk the line of morality in the name of vigilante justice… SuA’s sort of been tutoring me too.”

“Oh, I know.”

“What?!”

“Yeah. SuA’s the only one who uses that suplexing-someone-when-you’re-super-tiny technique. And you called me the dummy.”

“Says the one who’s had newspaper ink smudged on her forehead the whole day.”

“Alright, big shot, that’s it —”

“I have a phone call to make,” Yubin abruptly monotones, and edges towards the door before she has to be financially and emotionally responsible for yet another destroyed meeting room.

Before she slips away, though, she does manage to catch the best suplex yet on her phone camera.

### SIDESTREETS SUPERSTAR SIYEON SUA-NAPPED?

  


> The alleged on-again-off-again girlfriend of SuA appears to be kidnapped by… SuA?! Polaris’ most dastardly supervillain finally comes out of hiding in a disappointing but not surprising show of dramatics. At around 21:00 last night, SuA took over the nightly news to broadcast herself holding rock singer Siyeon captive.
> 
> “So I heard you were talking shit… this is a challenge to Fire Fist. Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot tomorrow around brunch time if you want your precious, hot, extremely cuddly rockstar back. You better bring more than just finger guns to this fight. Dweeb.”
> 
> It looks like the most dubious couple in Polaris is going through a rough patch in their relationship. This harrowing clip brings many questions to mind: Will the Wolf of Sidestreets be able to make it to her end-of-tour fanmeet later this week? Where has SuA been these past few months? Most importantly, will Fire Fist meet them for brunch at Denny’s?
> 
> One thing is certain:
> 
> This reporter will be there to bring answers to the public.

“Reporting live from everyone’s business… Handong!”

“You _asked_ me to publish this. Remind me again why I’m helping you?”

The city’s most respected journalist-cum-gossip-columnist swivels slowly in her office chair to face Yoohyeon, fingers steepled menacingly together. The fearless superhero yelps and ducks out of sight behind Handong’s electronic typewriter.

“U-uh, you owe me a favor?”

Handong sniffs and tosses the few pages that contain this issue’s draft over her desk. “Coaxing my cat down from a tree three years ago does not count.” She turns back to glare contemptuously out to the stunning view afforded by her vantage point at the top of the Polaris Press skyscraper.

A few papers flutter down and land on Yoohyeon’s head. She estimates that this corporate monster is at least ten stories taller than the building SuA once dropped on her. Which is ten more stories to survive should Handong decide to throw her out of her glass-walled office. She clears her throat and takes a gamble.

“Because I introduced you and Dami?”

Handong spares a bit of her glare over her shoulder. “You did, did you.”

“Well, technically, because you’ve been reporting on all of my embarrassing moments since I became a public figure, and I complain about you to Dami, who is in charge of paying for the buildings we trash and also superheroes’ PR, and Dami did her research and instead of taking my side said she was impressed with your portfolio and way with words and many hair colors and told me to just stop being so embarrassing, so… _technically…_ I was the link here.”

Handong maintains her silence, looking the part of the ever-brooding, no-nonsense boss with her business pantsuit and demurely manicured nails. From years of badgering until Handong reluctantly called her a friend instead of an annoyance, Yoohyeon knows the reporter is softer than she appears. A nervous drop of sweat still beads on her forehead. She pulls her lamest trump card.

“Uh… I called SuA, and she paused in utter silence, _three_ whole times.”

A beat.

Handong finally cracks a smile. “Headline-worthy. I definitely owe you for that big of a scoop.”

Yoohyeon sighs and swipes at her forehead in relief.

Handong looks back over the horizon, thinking. “You really think this is going to work?”

“Why wouldn’t it? I think SuA was pretty convincing.” Yoohyeon replays the ‘hostage’ footage and nods begrudgingly at SuA’s maniacal laugh. “Don’t tell her I said anything that contains her name and ‘pretty’ in the same sentence, though.”

“Their matching pajama slippers are in frame. At the end when Bora is struggling to turn the camera off, you can hear Siyeon asking if they can change the confrontation time to lunch so they can sleep in a bit more,” Handong dryly points out.

Yoohyeon resists the urge to facepalm. “I think when it comes down to it, she’ll be able to reel it in enough to act.”

“What about you?” Handong asks, turning all the way around now with a familiar fire in her eyes. “You’re putting in all this effort. Banking on the trust of a bloodthirsty reporter who could reveal your secret identity without batting an eye, on your arch-nemesis who has tried to kill you…” she lifts a post-it note from the mess of papers on her desk, “fifteen times just last year. You’re planning on giving up your fame and legal leeway, your power and decent paycheck… for a girl? When it comes down to it, can you act like it’s really worth it?”

Yoohyeon is used to floundering under Handong’s ruthless way of extorting answers. She has squirmed uncomfortably in her seat across from a million questions that, more often than not, she has no definite answer for other than finger guns and empty politician-like promises.

Right now though, she thinks about the worried little frown Minji tries to hide from her whenever she has to slip out of bed to chase a thief. She remembers the warmth that bloomed in her chest when she had finally found the guts to admit her secret identity, and Minji had patted her cheek endearingly in passing, saying she had figured it out a month into their relationship and she was just waiting for Yoohyeon to trust her enough to share in her own time, and that _the macarons are done, it’s a new recipe so let me know what you think, honestly, okay babe?_

She thinks about the way that warmth has never faded. The way her heart still does backflips whenever Minji smiles in that unrestrained way that makes her eyes curve, the corners crinkling in a way that will definitely leave kind laugh lines as she gets older. The way Yoohyeon yearns to be the one to kiss them as they make their gradual appearance.

She thinks about the way her response, _“home,”_ is automatic when Gahyeon asks where she’s headed off to with take-out and her torn supersuit, both of which she will present on Minji’s doorstep with a sheepish grin; the way Minji will pull her inside with a fond eye-roll and sew up Yoohyeon’s suit as Yoohyeon feeds her as penance, even though they both know Yoohyeon is perfectly capable of patching her own clothes and Minji is perfectly capable of eating on her own.

Lastly she thinks about how Minji has taught her hands a gentleness that belies all that her super alias has ever expected from fists that powerful. Imagines not being able to hold Minji, imagines choosing a city at her feet over that impossibly soft but solidly grounding presence at her side.

For perhaps the first time in their career interactions, Yoohyeon is calm with a genuine, assured confidence as she unflinchingly meets Handong’s eyes and answers:

“I don’t have to _act_ like it’s worth it. I know she is.”

It is a good thing they aren’t on air, or that there is no bigger scoop Handong cares about, because they stare at each other in silence for longer than an audience cares to be captured for. But Yoohyeon can wait. After all, Minji is always steadily patient, waiting for her to come home.

Handong doesn’t crack another smile, but she does take a seat at her typewriter again and feeds it another ream of paper with a sigh.

“Your draft was pitiful. I’ll have a better article published twelve minutes after you release the hostage video tomorrow. Now see yourself out of my office before I come to my senses and kick you out of it.”

From Handong, this is the equivalent of a love letter. Yoohyeon scrambles to the door immediately, but can’t help but raise her arm for a surreptitious fist pump.

“And Yoohyeon?”

Yoohyeon freezes.

“I’m not helping you because I owe you one. You’ve given me many amusing interviews as a super, and, while wholly unsolicited, many amusing visits as a friend. I won’t miss the headaches your antics gave me. I might, however, miss subtly dissing you in every piece on Polaris’ heroes.”

Yoohyeon almost cries.

“Also, you have ink smudged all over your forehead. Just once before you die, please stop embarrassing Dami.”

Yoohyeon eye-rolls her tears away. “Yeah, yeah. Love you too, Dongie!”

Just in case, she books it out of the office and makes sure she is at least a block away before she finishes her fist pump. Yoohyeon survives to vandalize Handong’s office another day.

### “BUSINESS AS USUAL”: BOTH INSOMNIA AND DENNY’S PREPARED FOR TODAY’S CONFRONTATION

  


> All eyes are on Fire Fist as she drops downtown this beautiful Saturday morning. Insomnia’s Director was, quite unfortunately, too busy corralling spectators to safety to give a statement; hopefully she will be free for coffee at a later time. The Fox already appears oddly shaky with caffeine (or perhaps nerves?) as her so-called mentor makes her rounds to dab in front of every camera.
> 
> “To be honest, I think playing the waiting game with SuA has set her on edge — she didn’t even break anything in HQ for warm-up this morning. And look — look at that! That dab angle wasn’t even ninety degrees. Either she finally realized dabbing has been obsolete for years now, or… something’s off with Fire Fist today.”
> 
> Perhaps this reporter’s instincts are off for the first time in her entire illustrious career, but something does feel different about the polluted Polaris air today. We asked persistent bystanders if this sentiment is widely shared.
> 
> “Before SuA went quiet, they used to fight nonstop. But never a direct challenge like this,” passerby Seunghee frets.
> 
> “Yeah, Fire Fist looks a little different-different today,” spectator Ryujin comments. “Maybe she accidentally put her suit on backwards again?”
> 
> “This is not the weirdest thing that has happened in this parking lot,” Denny’s employee Taemin, who looks like he has seen some shit, says flatly. “Please move; I’m behind on three pancake orders.”
> 
> This city has also seen some shit when it comes to Fire Fist and her chaotic rivalry with SuA. As brunch approaches, tension rises like it has built beneath the surface this whole time and is now at a boil. If we are lucky, we will get to witness the fight of the century; if we are more realistic, we might experience another volcanic eruption.
> 
> Good luck to Fire Fist, and Jihyo bless the rest of us.

Yoohyeon gets to the parking lot early to make a show out of her seriousness for this boss battle, and to deliver some carefully rehearsed one-liners to the reporters.

“With great power… comes the great urge to kick bad guy ass.” She winks directly at Handong’s camera.

“I hope that one gets put on your gravestone,” Handong mutters. Out of spite, Yoohyeon ‘trips’ and ‘accidentally’ punches a crack in the concrete so that Handong is knocked off balance. The apologetic finger guns are just icing on the cake. From the shadows behind them, Dami appears in her trademark I’m-an-edgy-secret-agent trench coat, and her presence is probably the only thing that saves Fire Fist from getting clawed to premature death.

“Fox is in position. Do you think SuA will be on time, or can I treat you to that coffee at Jiu’s?”

Yoohyeon furrows her brow, confused because Dami _never_ offers to pay for her — something about out-of-pocket costs of public property reparations — but also because Jiu’s Pastries is a fifty minute drive away, accounting for typical traffic, and still a thirty minute trip, accounting for recovery time, if Gahyeon simply flings her across the city. Not that Yoohyeon has memorized the traveling time from every major point in the metropolis to Minji’s shop, based on a sliding scale of weather conditions and time of day. Definitely not.

“Based on my research and past experience, she’ll be no less than an hour late.” Handong responds before Yoohyeon can shake off her own internal embarrassment.

“Perfect,” says Dami. “Shall we?”

The two of them stroll off arm in arm, leaving Yoohyeon alone with all of Handong’s equipment. Normally Yoohyeon hates how restricting her supersuit is, but now she is grateful that her mask hides her gaping look of utter betrayal from the rest of the unabandoned cameras.

Unfortunately, Handong is right. As per usual. SuA shows up with the ‘hostage’ around lunchtime. The supervillain is decked out in her fiery red supersuit disguise, which borders the classification of lingerie, and the rockstar is still in her pajamas, finishing a stack of pancakes from a take-out box. SuA affectionately wipes some syrup away from the corner of Siyeon’s mouth with her thumb. Cameras begin to flash, unsure.

Yoohyeon coughs loudly into the wing of her cape. SuA spots her with an exaggerated sigh, and rolls her eyes and wipes her thumb back on Siyeon’s cheek as if to say _fine, there, are you happy?_ Which… is not what Yoohyeon meant. She resists the urge to facepalm, and prays that Siyeon is a better actor than her girlfriend.

Siyeon blinks in confusion, before remembering with a loud, “ah, yeah!” of realization. She hurriedly chews the food stuffed in her cheeks, swallows, packs her take-out away, and then gasps dramatically.

“Oh no, I was kidnapped by SuA, conveniently right after I finished my second world tour!” She leaps a step away from her supposed captor, both hands covering her mouth in shock. “I trusted you! I thought you let me in past your sexy and chaotic veneer, but I see now that it was all a tactical farce! How will I make it to my—”

She is interrupted by an impatient car horn. A Denny’s patron swerves around her to leave the parking lot. Siyeon and SuA stick their tongues out in unison.

“Trying to have a final battle scene here!” SuA shouts in annoyance.

Siyeon clears her throat and continues: “...tactical farce! How will I make it to my Polaris fanmeeting now? I’m too hot and famous and talented to be used as collateral damage!”

“Damn right you are,” SuA says under her breath, which, because she is SuA, comes out in a normal volume. It apparently doesn’t matter, because the ring of reporters and spectators also agree, if their sympathetic murmuring and headshakes are anything to go by. Yoohyeon can’t believe the public eats up this kind of news. Then again, that’s probably the only reason she hasn’t fallen out of favor with the city after all these years of clumsy mishaps, even with Handong’s and SuA’s best efforts.

And today she has no choice but to trust that their joint effort will slay her. Fakely. But still successfully.

Yoohyeon sighs as SuA and Siyeon both gesture expectantly and none too surreptitiously at her.

 _Do it for Minji._ “Never fear, Fire Fist is here!” She puffs out her chest and sticks her famed fists at her hips. The spectators cheer, her droll tone completely passing over their heads.

“I would hold your applause until the final curtain, folks.” SuA slowly saunters forward as the noise dies down, palms held innocently, almost invitingly, out by her sides. “I’m here to put on a show. And we all know what happens when you’re in a crowded theatre… and someone shouts…”

“Fire!”

Handong’s abandoned camera is positioned perfectly to capture the way The Fox’s expressive face morphs from unease to panic as, from her position on the outskirts of the crowd, she spies the way the air shimmers behind an oblivious Fire Fist. The smaller super leaps clear across the crowd before her shout of warning is even complete, and knocks her mentor out of the way with a powerful swipe of her fox tail.

The lone vehicle left in the parking lot, paces behind where Fire Fist was just posing, explodes in a mushroom of violet flames. SuA claps her palms together in delight. From inside the restaurant, an employee watches as his car disintegrates before his deadened eyes.

Yoohyeon takes a moment to actually recover from her shock, because though this was all part of her plan, she hadn’t expected Gahyeon to fling her clear across the street right smack into a telephone booth. The phone drones an obnoxious dial tone right beside her ear on the ground. While everyone is distracted with the way SuA hoots at Gahyeon’s melodramatic, feigned unconsciousness due to the explosion, Yoohyeon scowls and punches the phone booth’s door off its hinges — government property damage is Dami’s problem, not hers. Innocently, she makes her way back to rejoin the fight.

“We saw that,” Handong intones as Yoohyeon shoulders through the reporters. Of course now is the time the truant pair decide to show up again. Yoohyeon jostles Dami’s elbows in passing, hoping she fumbles the two cups of coffee she holds for herself and Handong.

“You want to pay for these _and_ the door?” Dami glowers.

“Don’t act like Minji didn’t give you those on the house,” Yoohyeon hisses.

“She calls it ‘reparations for the mental and financial strain the idiot love of her life puts me under.’”

“She calls me the love of her life?”

“Idiot,” Handong and SuA emphasize in tandem; one muttered, one shouted. Handong shoves the beaming super back into the parking lot. SuA shoves Siyeon’s shoulder in laughter.

“Insomnia has grown complacent! Unprepared! Utterly lacking! In short, they have dozed off while the wicked, sexy evil of the city has risen! I have caught you slipping, and now, you will catch these—”

Fire Fist punches her out of her monologue, right through the Denny’s storefront window.

“ _I’m_ the only one who gets to beat her up,” the super snarls protectively over The Fox. She signals to Dami — one hand voguing over her head, the other pinching an invisible zipper shut, then a hand flip over her eyes to a devil’s horn sign — an overly complicated gesture that has Siyeon hesitatingly sending a rock-n-roll sign back, and Dami moving to escort the ‘hostage’ away to safety with a less complicated, one finger hand gesture that clearly means _you’re paying for that, too._

Yoohyeon makes sure the cameras catch Siyeon being rescued before she dramatically kneels beside Gahyeon’s prone figure with a wail. “C’mon little Fox, you gotta wake up! Who else is going to suplex me through Dami’s desk?!”

Gahyeon coughs weakly and stage whispers, “SuA will… if you don’t get your butt up and protect the good city of Polaris. We’re all counting on you, big shot.”

Cameras flash frantically as Fire Fist carries The Fox bridal-style to recover a safe distance away. Yoohyeon stifles her laugh as Gahyeon lolls her tongue out dramatically, and then bites it on accident as tofu girl pushes through the crowd to make sure she is alright.

“Is that all you’ve got, Finger Guns?!”

SuA shoots back into the scene with a propulsion of flames. The speckles of glass in her hair and on her suit reflect off of her fire, making her glow with a menacing and admittedly super cool purple aura. The crowd gasps.

Fire Fist settles into a defensive stance on her side of the parking lot. “After today, you will terrorize Polaris no more!”

SuA cackles lowly. “Oh, my dear morally correct hero; it’s never been about Polaris. I just want you gone.”

Yoohyeon pauses, actually curious. “You know, after years of fighting you and never actually really hurting innocent civilians in the crossfire because your crime ring doesn’t actually do anything very morally illicit but undermine capitalist overlords, I have to ask: why am I your rival? Like, what did I ever do to you?”

SuA blinks. “Isn't it obvious? Your moniker is Fire Fist. But _I’m_ the one with fire powers, and I’m the main character. Make it make sense.”

“...You’re actually serious.”

“And your unsexy ass is actually getting kicked today.” SuA conjures a fireball between her palms, grinning diabolically.

Fire Fist punches her hands together like boxing gloves and narrows her eyes. “Bring it on, _side character._ ”

The city’s most powerful and chaotic forces leap at each other across the Denny’s parking lot. Handong knocks back a headache pill with one of the coffees Dami left behind.

Since this is their last fight in the public eye, and since Handong estimated at least two blockbuster film series with them as inspiration will be created in memorandum, they try to make it a fight worth remembering. But also, since most actual fight scenes only last a minute or two, they are forced to compromise a long list of epic moves they had both wanted to fit into their improvised choreography. Yoohyeon gets her slo-mo Matrix dodge of SuA’s flame bullets, and Bora gets to tackle Fire Fist off of a nearby skyscraper. The two pause after a poorly timed exchange of banter and agree on a redo of a particular fistfight scene. The crowd watches in bewildered fascination. A long distance away in HQ, Siyeon protests around a mouthful of pancakes as Dami switches off the live broadcast.

“You might have super strength, but mentally, you’ve always been weak.” SuA manages to get the upper hand with a b.s. WWE pin and sneers, a blade of fire a finger’s breadth away from Yoohyeon’s neck. “You care too much about this stupid city, about your stupid super friends, about being morally upright. That’s why you’ve never been able to defeat me.”

Fire Fist grunts in exertion. It takes all her strength to prevent the fire from melting her mask clear off, which irritates her because that would ruin the whole purpose of this epic but unnecessary confrontation.

She glares up at the supervillain. “You’re wrong. Caring about people — protecting the good in this world — that will never be weakness.” She slips an arm away, and SuA stumbles at the sudden lack of resistance. The blade singes Fire Fist’s neck, but she uses the momentum to punch a fissure into the ground beneath them. SuA shoots herself away just in time. Both of them parkour roll to a stand away from the pit, now in the same positions they started in.

The tactical cracks in the steam pipes beneath the city, caused by Yoohyeon’s various punches to the asphalt, begin to leak dramatic fog from the makeshift manholes. The heat from Bora’s flames only exacerbates the contrasting temperatures, and soon the whole parking lot and nearby block is swallowed in camouflaging clouds of steam.

The hero and the villain pace in careful circles around each other. Handong listlessly pans her camera back and forth as if she is struggling valiantly to keep track of their shimmering silhouettes. Gahyeon reluctantly slips away from her weak sprawl on the ground beside tofu girl, takes a swig from Dami’s coffee cup out of boredom, and starts stumbling in view of the cameras at Handong’s signal.

“Stagger around in pain more,” Yoohyeon whispers to her supposed foe, and then in a loud voice full of grave bravado: “That’s why I’ve never defeated you — there is good in you, SuA. I know there is. Everyone in Polaris deserves a chance.”

“Be louder with your panting,” Bora counters, and then after a long pause, admits in a heart-broken voice: “You’re wrong again. I don’t want chances. Siyeon gave me one. She accepted me. Loved me. But I recognized it for what it was — weakness. She made me weak.”

Fire Fist extends a hand, palm open, giving SuA an opportunity. “Accepting grace, love — that’s not weakness, SuA. It’s strength.”

Through the fog, SuA slowly reaches out to grasp Fire Fist’s forearm in her own. Yoohyeon squeezes a bit too hard so that Bora’s eyes will water, and they wait awkwardly like this until Handong coughs to let them know she got the emotional shot.

SuA’s eyes harden. “Then your strength is your downfall after all.” A beat. “Also, you have something on your forehead."

She takes the opportunity Fire Fist presented to her, but not the one she thought. With one hand trapped, and the other at her forehead in chagrined surprise, the superhero has no leverage to move as fire shoots from SuA’s grip up her arm and encases her in a column of flames.

“No!” Gahyeon’s scream of anguish pierces the air and almost seems to part the fog with its sound alone. The city gasps in horror at the sight of SuA standing alone beside a pile of ashes.

SuA doesn’t have time to bask in what she’s done as The Fox, all nine tails appearing in her emotional distress, dashes for her throat in a blur of supernatural energy. The last thing visible to the human eye is how the young super absolutely wrecks SuA in a devastatingly perfect german-suplex. Everyone is forced to shut their eyes after that, as the super’s glow becomes too bright for even Handong’s cameras to pick up, so all that is heard is a pained shout at an unnatural decibel. Whether it came from The Fox or SuA will take the spotlight from the who-shot-first nerd debate for decades to come.

When finally the haze clears, The Fox is the lone figure left in the remains of the Denny’s: claws and clothes bathed in a sticky red substance, the tattered remains of SuA’s questionable supervillain outfit blown away along with the pile of ashes into the wind.

The bystanders slowly begin a shocked round of applause for their new main hero.

“That was kind of super cute of her, don’t you think?” Tofu girl says in hushed awe at the front of the circle.

Handong exchanges an empty look with the poor Denny’s employee across the lot, chugs the rest of her and Dami’s coffee, and packs up her equipment with an almost superhuman speed.

### BREAKING NEWS: FIRE FIST FALLS, METROPOLIS MOURNS

  


> With a heavy heart, we report government confirmation of what we all witnessed this afternoon. Fire Fist, lead super of Insomnia, has definitely died in a final battle against long-time arch-nemesis and terror of Polaris, SuA. The hero, who is dead, is survived by her sidekick-turned-companion The Fox, who valiantly avenged her fallen teammate immediately following her aforementioned death. The Director of Super Services escorted the rockstar hostage to safety. Siyeon announced her band’s indefinite hiatus shortly following these events.
> 
> The city mourns the loss of a hero, her antithesis, good music, and the only Denny’s downtown.
> 
> The celebration of life and heroism service for the expired, dearly departed, sadly perished Fire Fist will be held Saturday morning two weeks from now. The self-titled Deathday Soirée, pre-planned in SuA’s (who is also most unquestionably dead) exhaustingly comprehensive and public will, is instructed to begin tonight.
> 
> For all of this reporter’s past misgivings about this odd duo’s rivalry, Fire Fist and SuA provided some much needed entertainment and questioning of the system to Polaris. Wherever they are now, may they fight in peace.
> 
> This has been Handong, who will see you all tonight and in two weeks as nothing but a fellow citizen.

“Imagine the pictorial you could have gotten from that hilarious sight: ‘Super-rivals Shiver in Solidarity After Ditching Supersuits for the Sewers!’”

“I think most of us would rather not imagine that sight.”

“Yeah, that was probably the worst experience of my life. And that’s including the time Bora dropped a skyscraper on me.”

“Oh my Jihyo, that was like three years ago, get over it.”

Yubin, ex-Director of a government program officially dissolved a week ago, somehow still finds herself cleaning up after the mess of two supers as they go at it over the table. Handong, still the best reporter and editor-in-chief around, helps her new girlfriend move their complimentary cups of coffee out of the way. It is a lucky thing that all of the window shades of Jiu’s Pastries are down and the closed sign flipped outwards for this celebratory gathering of Polaris’ finest.

“I can submit it as an op-ed piece,” Gahyeon insists, beseeching Handong beside her with a pout as if two of her spirit fox tails haven’t whipped out to keep Yoohyeon and Bora straight-jacketed into their respective seats. “Local news has been so boring now that the Super Services are gone.”

“And whose fault is that?” Bora growls, doing her utmost best to singe her ex-rival’s eyebrows across the table with her glare alone.

Yoohyeon sticks her tongue out at her petulantly. “You act like you’re not enjoying grossly unsexy domesticity with Siyeon.”

Bora’s eyes immediately soften, goopy with affection as she looks beside her to watch the intimidating Wolf of Sidestreets stuff her cheeks with pie, utterly oblivious to her wife’s struggle. “Still sexy. But yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“It was a rather amusing sight, though. Polaris’ most powerful supers crawling half-drowned out of a manhole cover behind my shop, wearing nothing but underwear and a layer of cherry pie filling.”

A seventh person emerges from the back of the shop with a smile as warm and lovely as the second helpings of freshly baked pie in her arms: Minji, proud owner of Jiu’s Pastries, and even prouder girlfriend of three years to Yoohyeon, just Yoohyeon.

The ex-superhero can’t help but return her grin even as she tries to whine in protest. “You’re supposed to be on my side! What happened to you calling me the love of your life?”

Minji feigns innocence as she sets slices down in front of Handong, Yubin, and Gahyeon. “If I recall correctly, I also called you an idiot.” She and Yubin exchange a single finger gun shot, not lame in the slightest. Siyeon makes grabby hands towards the pie, and both Minji and Bora coo at her cuteness and slide the rest of it over to her. Gahyeon, distracted by Minji’s incomparable baking, retracts her tails and digs in; Yoohyeon slumps back into her seat at the unfairness of it all.

“It’s only ‘cause Gahyeon spilled the fake blood on Bora, and Bora made me piggy-back her through the sewers. And I thought you’d appreciate not having to patch up that infernal suit anymore,” she mumbles, sulking at the memory of Minji failing to suppress her laughter as she dragged them inside to get them cleaned up. She perks back up with red cheeks as Minji slides in next to her and gently kisses the side of her neck, where SuA’s burn has mostly healed up. 

“You’re still the love of my life, even if you are an idiot,” Minji murmurs, and this time pecks her lips in apology. “Who told super you to fake your super death so you could live a normal life with normal ol’ me?”

“My heart,” Yoohyeon says, boldly but truthfully. Minji lightly slaps her arm, equal parts scolding and bashful. She stands and moves to the kitchen again as their friends boo Yoohyeon's cheesiness.

Yoohyeon frowns and calls after her, “You’re still gonna let me sell flowers in the corner of your shop, right?”

The others turn their attention back to their own squabbling, albeit less violent now with _delicious_ dessert set in front of them. Yoohyeon continues to frown at her empty setting, and at the empty seat beside her.

“...To come out of the shadows as a super-vigilante? Do I have to wait until there’s an actual threat, or can I just make my own and then kick its ass?” Gahyeon is in the middle of wondering, face and hands messily covered in cherry filling, somehow a much less menacing sight than two weeks ago’s front-page snapshot of her standing over the remnants of two supers and a Denny’s.

“Ooh, start shit now,” Bora says. “Interrupt Fire Fist’s funeral with a couple of distant explosions and desecrate her statue at City Hall. It’s what I would do.”

“Disrespectful,” Dami clucks her tongue, “I like it.”

Yoohyeon is stopped from leaping across the table again with a familiar touch on the back of her hand. Her fist unclenches itself almost automatically. Minji has returned from the back with another slice, just for her, and she sets it down with one hand as she takes Yoohyeon’s relaxed palm with her other.

Suddenly all of Yoohyeon’s woes have vanished. She presses an enthusiastic kiss to the corner of her girlfriend’s smiling eyes, and digs in, uncaring that Minji has taken occupation of her dominant hand.

Minji chuckles, amused but very concerned. “Babe, please chew your food before you—”

“Choke,” Bora comments lightly, as Yoohyeon starts to do exactly that.

The ex-superhero’s power saves a life one more time. She slams a fist into her own solar plexus, and Heimlichs the oddly hard bite of pie out of her diaphragm.

Something small and shiny spits out and skitters to a stop beside Siyeon’s plate.

“Ew, no thanks, she’s already married to the sexiest woman alive,” Bora says, flicking the ring back across the table. It hits Yoohyeon square in the middle of her forehead. She catches it and stares in shock.

In all of the life-or-death situations she has ever been in, including Handong’s interviews, Yoohyeon has never been this frozen speechless.

It takes the duration of a decent fight scene for her to move, and only because Yubin sighs over her not-so-discreetly recording phone camera and deadpans, “How are you a normal person and _still_ embarrassing me this much?”

Familiarly soft and gentle hands take the ring from her own calloused palm and wipe it clean of all cherry goodness. Then one caresses Yoohyeon’s cheek, directing her shocked gaze up to meet Minji’s fond one.

“To answer your question,” Minji says softly, intimately, “of course you can still sell flowers in the corner of my shop. I was hoping you’d like to agree to something better than a business deal, though?”

“I wrote a whole album of love songs inspired by Bora, but since I’m on hiatus for the foreseeable future, I offered them to Minji to use at your wedding,” Siyeon pipes in.

“I’ll let you have the spotlight one last time, big shot,” Gahyeon harrumphs. “Just so long as I get to be maid of honor.”

“Yoohyeon, hero of Polaris,” Minji smiles that smile up at her from one knee, “now that I can stop worrying to death about you: will you be my idiot for the rest of our boring, normal lives?”

Before she says a resounding yes with a long, loving kiss that sends the rest of the group booing yet again, Yoohyeon rubs her forehead, just in case, and shoots finger guns at her now fiancé, just to be Yoohyeon.

And, with Minji, she knows there is no one else she’d rather be.

### DUCKS DO NOT LIKE TOFU AFTER ALL?!

> As you, dear reader, may have guessed: It is a slow news day. Since the dissolution of official superhero programs nearly a year ago, in fact, nearly every day has been dreadfully uneventful. The Fox, vigilante protector of Polaris, has ensured unprecedented peace around the entire metropolis. What does The Fox say to this?
> 
> “I think we all deserve some quiet, for now. Ask me again in like, two years. A threat may or may not decide to show up. Who knows.”
> 
> The highest act of chaos continues to be sharing a coffee with lovely company. Personally, this reporter doesn’t mind.
> 
> On an unrelated note, Jiu’s Pastries continues to serve the best cherry pie this side of Polaris. The flowers are just okay.
> 
> This has been Handong, reporting for Polaris Press.

**Author's Note:**

> quite different from the first universe of this superhero series... I hope you enjoyed even a little bit as much as I enjoyed writing this! do let me know if you did! c:


End file.
